“Notice God, Notice Others.”

Everybody Needs a Model Or Two To Be Effective

‘People never do what you say - only what you do
…then only after you have salted them down…’

What / Who Is An Approximate Leader Metaphor You Relate To?

As we venture through life, influential personalities pass our way. Some of these are distant influencers. They touch us through their books, blogs – the proverbial ship passing in the night. Others stay longer. Rarely does an influential we come to love and respect leave without heat though. ‘Parting is with great sorrow’ as Shakespeare captured it so well. This fascinating dynamic is a worthwhile study in various biographies that are honest enough to get past the silly surface-grin and down to what we all know to be the real story we all suffer through. (Bobby Clinton has a grasp on this matter as well any anyone on the planet. His tomes The Making of A Leader and Connecting are in my top 100 list of ‘Just Gotta Buy, Read, and Re-Read.’ Don’t ask for this list – it’s not together yet…)

(NOTE: I officially no longer waste my time actually ‘reading’ books unless they ‘re-read’ worthy. As many know, I am a graduate of the ‘Evelyn Wood-Head Sped-Redding School of Sped Redding’ to quote Cheech and Chong. I do scan lots of books still – but scanning and carefully reading are far different matters.)

All effective leaders have lived long enough to realize they lack the marbles to accomplish the humongous goal Jesus has placed in their heart. To get there, some amazing, serendipitous supply is needed. The greatest part of God’s supply will always arrive in the form of content – the wisdom God provides that can come from people alone.

Question:

Is there a metaphor you can use to help people relate to your leadership style?

There are numerous aspects needed to describe the breadth of how you relate as a leader:

• The communication aspect of your leadership
• The way you connect with people; the way you don’t connect (more important)

People now tell me who I remind them of so I don’t really need a metaphor often.

May I recommend one to you if you are searching or starting out?

Jack Black – the funny man who is all about finding the good in people and is not afraid to climb into situations or fend for the downtrodden.
Best of all – Jack is self-deprecating. It is hard to not follow one like this. Today, if you can’t tell on yourself, be yourself, you are sunk.

Mind you, however, that with Jack as a metaphor there come built-in weaknesses to be aware of…

You are an easy target by weak, opportunistic leaders around you who are not living vulnerably.

If you like this topic, tune in to Steve Sjogren’s free one-hour coaching session on ShapeVine.com. Look on that site for the next scheduled coaching session. There you can see, hear, ask questions with the cutting edge technology employed by the ShapeVine.com site.

Have you noticed that on every cover of Oprah’s magazine she is smiling? Think what you want, but I believe her smile is sincere. She does nothing for financial gain—that point in her life passed long ago. For Oprah, it’s about spiritual meaning.

Measuring America’s Spiritual Hunger
If spiritual health is measured according to outward matters, the decline of the Roman, Protestant (you name it) empire is upon us. But maybe spiritual health is not so one-dimensional as 30-second phone polls can measure when we are disturbed in the evening hours.

Attendance, size, the counting of heads is not the sole barometer most “Influentials” in history have relied upon to measure the state of true spiritual affairs.

Jesus did not pay one spit of attention to the fluctuating attendance of the crowds who showed up when He spoke. If He had bought into this emotional roller coaster of such passing silliness, confusion would have perhaps ensued.

If we insist on counting something, Jesus might encourage us to count backward—to measure what we divest ourselves of. America has had it with “come and see” spirituality. Now is the day of “go and do.” And Jesus launched that movement some time ago.

Does Oprah Understand What Others Don’t?
Oprah has vast spiritual influence over most of the Western world. When Oprah speaks, things happen.

This is no news flash, though. Oprah’s vast influence extends beyond the media scene and into the deepest parts of the spiritual heart of the United States. How? you wonder. She is in touch with non-complex heart leanings in each of us—inclinations that have been placed in us by God.

On her hit prime-time show, Oprah’s Big Give, Oprah has noticed the power generosity has to change lives. Like every reality show, this one has an abundance of adrenaline-filled contestants. Jumping abounds. There is an unnatural amount of smiling going on. But her show is unique as well. The winner is the one who gives away the greatest amount of money over several weeks—in as wise ways as possible.

Ms. Oprah has tapped into the depths of all of us. It’s the “if money were no object” dream we talk about—and this dream is becoming viral. Everyone is chatting about it. This virus might just get out of control, in the best sense.

Kindness, Schmindness. So What?
Kindness is a word that has been bandied about in recent years. We confuse it with similar words (like niceness), but it stands head and shoulders above synonyms.

You might wonder, Why bring God into this consideration? The “God factor” is what distinguishes kindness from niceness or other even less powerful encounters. Any of us can be nice when the mood strikes us, when we are feeling rested, well, etc. Kindness is another matter completely. Kindness, to be clear, is only possible when God shows up.

You and I don’t know each other, but this I suspect about you: Regardless of how broken your upbringing may have been, there were moments when kindness occurred along your journey.

I did not grow up attending church (to be accurate, I was downright skeptical of all things church-ish), but I can now see the seeds of kindness that were scattered into my soul, which led to a profound conversion during college. Those seeds were slow-growing, undetected, but they eventually bore fruit. It was God at work beneath the surface.

When our lives have been touched by authentic kindness, we tend to never forget those moments. They are everlasting, living encounters. Only the God of the universe can orchestrate such.

Friend or Faux?
In recent years, many have begun to notice the latent power of kindness, serving and generosity. More than a small percentage of spiritual organizations have sought to use kindness as a tool—something to promote a message. In that equation, the understanding is: We serve; then people will listen. Kindness is not a tool one can use to gain advantage over others!

Any thinking in this direction is to manipulate both God and His people. Neither God nor most people will put up with such nonsense. People are not oblivious when agendas are present. To be kind but not genuine is to destroy the possible conveying of any positive message.

Indeed, a message will be conveyed—a tragic one where cocooning occurs. That is, those in the community isolate themselves further and further away from anything down the road that is real.

Breaking Free
When God’s kindness is loosed, a culture begins to build. Each day I connect with many people in simple ways that ease their burdens—much like Oprah. One hundred percent of them ask why I am showing them practical kindness (paying for their Starbucks drink, showing them respect by remembering their names at the places I frequent, getting cashiers a bottle of water and insisting they take it).

There is plenty to chat with people about when kindness is afoot. Let’s just go and do with a clean heart.

Short People Got No… Need For Toilet Plungers

… of strengths, limits, liabilities

While in Denver recently doing some city-wide training with leaders, I stayed with some friends. They have renovated a house that is beautiful, ornate… and has old plumbing.

This couple have children that are adults, are out of the house. Both of them are just over five feet tall. Their children are about the same size. Fortunately they are Hispanic so they have not been tortured by Hobbit jokes (Hobbits look nothing like a Central or South American).

Here’s the problem: I am nearly 6′3″. In ALL WAYS my life is different than theirs for the most part.

Without ruining your appetite for the next 48 hours, I will put this delicately. These kind, wonderful folks were gone most of the day when I arrived. That’s fine by me - I write all day. Just need oxygen, water, a Venti Starbucks dark blend, enough half and half to color the coffee khaki and three Splendas. I’m in my own world(s) for 8 to 12 hours. Nature does call however. When it did, their flushing mechanism was clearly not designed for people of normal size - IE, over 5 feet tall and all that goes with that (enough said). Upon a search, I discovered they have no plunger. I called them. “We’ve lived there for fifteen years and have never needed a plunger.”

“Do you ever have people over five feet tall here visiting?”

“As a matter of fact, only family visits. You’re right - they are all rather short like us. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

I walked down the street to Wal-Mart and bought them their first two plungers (Sam’s was less expensive but they didn’t need two dozen).

In writing and posting this blog I hope you as a reader can appreciate the risk I am taking with those who - uh, aren’t members of the Servant Evangelism or Steve Sjogren Fan Club.

But hey, I’m game for stepping out on the limb to make a point or two.

1. Leaders, it’s time to face up to our limitations.

The notion of the Peter Principle - we tend to gravitate to our greatest strength - then we take one more step. That last step occurs when others ‘promote’ us and we don’t speak up… when we fail to tell them, “I’m not about this. I’m not qualified. I’m not called. There is not fruit here. I’ve gotta be me.”

Re-read Dr. Peter’s book (you can find it on Amazon). Memorize the simple principles. Pray for utter, cut-throat self-honesty. If you don’t, you are dooming yourself and those around you - most sadly your family who choose loyalty to you in spite of an utter lack of skill, anointing, ‘getty-up.’

2. With strengths (some think being 6′3″ is a good thing) always come liabilities.

Real short on this. You are a genius at something. SomeTHING as in singular. You may do another thing that is pretty outstanding. There may be a third matter you are way above average. If you are a wise person, you will develop those three - then gather a team around you. You will not need to apologize for being who God made you to be. You will merely need to be brutally honest. To fake or miscommunicate on the fourth matter and beyond…

To quote the prophet Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’

- the fine art of church suicide

“My word… I now know for certain. My church has lost its collective mind…” - Bob, the cowboy commentator and church consultant

My friend Bob looked up from reading the blog on his laptop. He pulled off his reading glasses with some drama as he does when miffed (an effective technique - you might consider picking up a pair of spectacles whether you need them or not).

Bob explained his ‘Mad-as-a-hornet, can’t take no more’ response.

He wasn’t one bit negative. Deep love and pain was emerging.

“I’ve always thought when someone takes their own life that they are out of their mind - at least at that moment. Maybe this holds true for groups when they do the same…”

Bob’s words hung in the air - like a slow moving indoor cloud hovering in the room. Bob spoke a drop dead amazing truth.

One thing is certain - 100% of the innumerable groups who succeeded in a suicide attempt - not one was thinking clearly at the moment of the ultimate deed.

Is there a pattern that leads up to a church or a spiritual movement to self-destruct? Ponder these common patterns that lead up to what lemmings do each spring.

•Celebrating The Tragedy of Others… other leaders / churches!

“They finally got what was coming them them / him / her. Yep, God got ‘em good. You can’t fool Him…”

If you haven’t thought this or said it you likely aren’t thinking back hard enough. Human nature makes such behavior tendencies natural to us all. Call it “The Martha Stewart Effect.” She goes to prison without protesting the initial sentence dished out to her. Amazingly, the vast majority of Americans decided they hated Martha - they decided to enthusiastically believe the worst about her. There is something particularly savory about believing the worst about those who have been highly successful in life. This goes double for the leaders of large churches. ‘They are large because they are doing something that’s not kosher…’ (No names here please…)

Recommend: Start praying for a church each week like this, “God we ask you to bless this other church today - we ask you to profoundly touch them today more than us…”

•Church Suicide Comes From The Passive Condoning of Toxic Attitudes
Rarely will leaders in the local church clearly say aloud what is as negative as what is carried about in the heart. “We really don’t like people who aren’t like us…” Who in their right mind would cop to that?… especially official leaders. Yet can you explain how it is that great public efforts are taken to increase attendance yet the ‘backdoor’ siphons more out than in?

Recommend: If you are one who speaks or has a voice into the leadership, be candid about your heart. Fear keeps us stuck and away rather than toward people. To like people is more costly than to love people very often!

•Church Suicide Begins With Bombastic Attitudes
“We really are all that - and more!” No comment necessary.

Recommend: Pray with an honest, open heart. Start with confessions. When God shows up honesty tends to happen.

Bob never told me what upset him that day. That wasn’t the point. He loves his heritage. Even more he loves the Church at large - as do I on both points. Maybe we are on the same boat as it works in fellow-ship.

Check out this recent radio interview with Steve Sjogren and Colin Lambert on the Moody Broadcasting Network! Steve and Colin discuss Outflow and learning to notice your way into other people’s lives.

…of all leaders, launchers most need interventional help

The Stand Up Guy for ‘Lost Causes’

The Power of A Magnificent Loss(es)

I am a lost cause

Every city I have planted in has been antithetical to a place that has potential

The people we attract are nearly all lost causes

This past Sunday was the seventh public weekend for Coastland. For those who follow such things as the trends of new launches, one wouldn’t expect much momentum on a traditionally churchy weekend at a newish church.  The fact is that it usually isn’t until the third year or beyond that a place experiences larger services on traditional weekends.

Surprisingly or not, we in fact had huge numbers.  People brought their friends, family, neighbors, etc. and a great time was had by all.

We finished up a series this past week dealing with overcoming the powers that keep us stuck… When we face shortages, or suspected shortages, we naturally hoard what little we have.  The way out of such a bind is give what we have in hand.

We pooled our funds, in a combined act of overcoming the fear of not enough, and gave strongly to a new outward-aimed church in the area: an Ethiopian church near downtown Tampa. I’m not clear on the amount that was given but it was significant in light of our typical weekly offering.  People love to be generous - as long as it really gets to where change is going to make a difference. 

There was a hush in the room as the offering was taken. It was a still but awesome moment.

One guy who was there for the first time told me he began to tear up as he drove near our location. He saw our signs pointing him toward our location and he began to grow in anticipation in a way that was unexplainable. He was more or less without words throughout the morning. 

Janie has just had surgery done on her hand to repair an injury that has developed over some time.  She is able to endure more pain than me. I am of the opinion that doctors are worth going to when pain becomes unbearable - (AFTER they are checked out and they are not incapacitated during a procedure.)

This is her fourth procedure in less than a year.  Prior to that, Janie has never had a surgery - ever. Think there might be a connection between these and the risk we are taking with this church launch?  Hmm.

When We Fake It We Look Goofy - Even Freakish

My grandma from Paris, Texas was full of colorful expressions.  She didn’t so much speak English - she communicated in one metaphor after another.  One of my favorites was:

Nana instilled in me a respect for authenticity and skepticism for the fake. 

There is a bit of fake in you, me, all of us (fake = aspiring to define ourselves by something / someone we are not). (Thus far, all the people I have met on the planet are of those offspring - if you meet someone beyond that please call me at once - I’ll figure out a way to get there immediately … I really need to interview them.) 

To be a ‘cat standing on its hind legs’ is a site to imagine. 

Mainly she told me this ditty was in reference to people trying to behave properly when they were not wired that way deep down.  That is, one way inside, but trying to behave the opposite on the outside.  Life just doesn’t swing that way - at least not for long, for any of us. 

The prayer of former walking cats:

"Here I am God. Love through me - the real me. Ignite me - the real me. Invite many through me - the real me. Thank you for your invitation to me that I am - as I am!"

Let the filters fall.

Notice what is going on through me … I cease hesitating, I engage with you - let the world change. 

Yes Gerald, it really is that untangled … thank you for asking!

Everywhere that I have had a bank account, the understanding is basically the same.

First you must make a deposit.  There is a period of waiting until the initial check clears.  Then if you choose, a withdrawal can be made.

I have never heard of a bank that allows a withdrawal before a deposit has been made. (If you know of such a bank, you really owe it to the rest of the planet to let us in on this amazing institution…  This deal must be advertised a bit.  How they would stay in business is not important to us - it’s just important that they allow people to withdraw from a nonexistent fund!)

This routine of “Deposit First - Withdraw Later” is violated continually, by regular church people - and without realizing what they are doing - church leaders-teachers-pastors are encouraging this pattern.  How so?

We model and strongly encourage people to approach virtual strangers with a call to a dramatic life change.  This is akin to not just a spiritual drive-by.  Think drive-by with a rapid fire bazooka and you are close to the reality here.

Am I suggesting one ought never to call a complete stranger to conversion?  Not in the least.  What I am saying is that a dramatic encounter such as this is the exception to the norm.  The norm is that we ‘bring’ the gospel.  We don’t ‘send’ the gospel.  To bring anything has everything to do with personal connections, relationship, a touch, and the word we love to use around Christmas - ‘Incarnation.’

It’s funny how we love to talk about ‘Incarnation’ around Christmas, but shun that word / concept after December 26th.  We bring the message of Jesus every time we connect with people.  If you continue to ‘send’ the message - well, you will continue to see lots of rejections. 

When those rejections come, do all of us a favor - for Pete’s sake, don’t sit back and glibly mutter something about the hard-heartedness of this generation.  You may be partly right.  Then again, you may be referring to your own hard-heartedness.